Gratitude Always~

There are many people to thank and I haven't yet found the time to do it, but I don't want you to think I've forgotten all the kindness shown to us these past months. The flowers, cards, photos, texts and calls are all greatly appreciated and we really were touched to hear how much you cared. In fact, all of this has taught me how important it is to let people know how you feel about them. Which is why I want to write the thank you cards, but I also don't. Writing my gratitude down stirs up emotions that are hard to feel and hard to explain. But I'll get it done. I promise.

Checking in on 2016 Goals

Early this year I set out some goals for 2016, not knowing what this year would bring. Boy, was I surprised. I thought I'd take a minute to check over those goals and ask myself, what the heck happened??  I'm not making excuses, but I can already tell you many of these fell by the wayside in March when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I also lost three aged, beloved pets this spring. It was not a fun time.

So what were my goals for 2016?

1) Read lots of books - The first casualty was reading. It usually is the first thing to go because it's a "nice to do" not a "have to do". I did read the new Harry Potter play, which was mildly entertaining. And Mrs. Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, which I liked. (The movie totally changed the ending though.)

2) Write lots of words - Hoo boy! This I did NOT do. At all. When you're worried about your health and going to doctor appointments every week or more, you just don't feel that creative. No new projects were started this year. JuNoWriMo was skipped because of radiation therapy in June. However, I did complete edits on a middle grade manuscript I'm quite fond of called "Troll Teeth and other Bedtime Stories".

3) Travel - I was a little tied down this spring with radiation treatments every day for six and a half weeks, but after that I went to north Idaho to see family. I've also had some good day trips, some to places I've never been before. Most excitingly, I've got reservations for next spring break in St. Petersburg, Florida. I haven't been there for over twenty years.

4) Exercise and eat healthy - This really shouldn't be a goal; it should be every day life. I do mostly eat healthy, but I can't lie - when I thought I might be taking chemotherapy, I did some stress eating. I thought it might be helpful to bulk up before chemo so I had a little weight to lose anyway. Probably not what a doctor would advise, but it made sense to me at the time. I didn't end up getting chemotherapy, so I started watching my portions again. My exercise routine was interrupted by my surgery and I'm afraid I never really got back on the bandwagon. I still enjoy seeing how far I can go on my Fitbit each day, but I think weight bearing exercise is just as important as steps are. People keep saying "sitting is the new smoking". I got a standing desk at work and it's pretty cool.

5) Publish - I did the query thing, a got few nibbles, but no bites. My self-published titles are doing well on Amazon, so I decided to self-publish "Crawdad". It should be available very soon.  The rights to "Vessel" were reverted to me from the publisher this year, so I'll be self-publishing that as well. "Troll Teeth" is with a publisher for consideration, as is "Star Taker, Sky Dragon", a steampunk adventure story. If those don't work out, they're both candidates for self-publishing too.

6) Grow a garden that survives - This one I achieved!!  A new fence around the garden and a new greenhouse helped a lot, as well as a drop in the vole population spike.  I got tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, squash, beans, onions, lettuce, and beets. I made pickles, salsa, tomato sauce, and spaghetti sauce. I've still got tomatoes, but I think I've canned just about all the stuff we can eat, so I'm not sure what I'll do with those. I also plan to make enchilada sauce when my anchos are dried. I also grew the prettiest flowers! The frost got the zinnias already, but there's still poppies and marigolds.

7) Save some money - yeah, not so much. Maybe next year?

8) Do some home improvements - other than the new greenhouse, not much of this happened either
 
9) Meditate - This helped me tremendously in March and April, which were terribly stressful months. I've meditated before with just a timer, but his year I found an app that had guided mediations for things like stress and worry. It was just what I needed. Check out the Gaiam Mediation Studio if you're interested.



10) Gratitude - If I didn't know how to do this before, I sure do now. Nothing like a life-threating illness to make you appreciate the life you have. I read an inspiring quote the other day that's going to stick with me for awhile....

We don't always know how we'll die, but we can always choose how we will live~

I chose to live life in peace, love, and gratitude.

My newest title: Cancer Patient

After having been diagnosed this March with breast cancer, I've been through a whirlwind of medical tests and treatments. Surgery appears to have removed it all. Does that mean I'm cured? In remission? I don't know, but I do know that I'm still a "cancer patient" and probably will be for the rest of my life.

I feel pretty good. I'm lucky enough to only go through radiation therapy. I actually feel guilty that I seem to have gotten off so easy. I still have my breast and my hair. It seems weird to say "I have cancer" because technically, it's gone for all intents and purposes. But many years of cancer research say my odds of reoccurrence are higher now and it's best to be vigilant.

Radiation has been an interesting process. I'm finding most people don't know much about it or confuse it with chemotherapy, which involves taking medications that treat the entire body. The two work very differently. Here's what I've learned, but keep in mind: I'm not a medical professional. This is just my understanding, which may or may not be right.

Radiation is basically a high powered x-ray beam that targets a specific area of the body, in my case, the tissue around my surgery site. That's the place most likely to have microscopic cancer cells still floating around that were missed by the surgery. The radiation kills cells at a certain stage in their life cycle, including cancer cells, and encourages new healthy cells to grow back in their place. This happens naturally all the time, but radiation speeds up the process, which is kind of amazing if you think about it.

The machine that delivers the radiation beam is a huge thing that takes up a big room. It rotates around you while you lay on a table. The process is painless, like an x-ray. There's no light or heat, but there is a green laser line they use to position you exactly the same way each time. The machine clicks a little and whirs when it rotates. It buzzes when the beam is delivered, but it's nowhere near as loud as an MRI machine. It's much faster too. Each treatment lasts maybe 5-10 minutes on the table.

They play an oldies radio station in the room so there's music to distract you, which I think is a nice touch in what could be a really sterile, dark room. The day of my first treatment, Elvis came on the radio. He was singing a song about feeling his temperature rise and I had to laugh. It all seemed so absurd at that moment, lying on my back, half naked with my arms over my head while two technicians I've just barely met push me around on the table until I'm lined up properly. (The position reminds me vaguely of being strung on a torture rack, although it really doesn't hurt, I promise.)

The worst part I've found is the hard "head rest" that isn't that comfortable and essentially being topless in the company of strangers. Thank goodness they're all professional. I guess it's like giving birth - you lose your modesty out of necessity.

The best part is the awesome rose garden the hospital has adjacent to the parking lot that I get to visit every day if I want. The roses are all in bloom this time of year.

Most days I feel pretty good about where I am in this cancer patient stuff. So many people are struggling so much more than I am. Sometimes the terror hits me. What if I'm fooling myself that I'm OK? Lots of women go through breast cancer twice, even three times. I know it could come back anytime. Could be five or ten years down the road. How much longer do I get?

The truth is, none of us know how much time we have. Could be two years or two days. I have to focus on the right-now or I'll drive myself bonkers. Right now, I feel good. I'll take it and be grateful for it. Smell the roses. Every single day of it. You should too.

Peace~

Thanksgiving 2014

I'm struck this week by all the emotions going through my head as hear about various events in the world. It's a world that seems very far away from my safe, quiet home, but it's one I care about very much. I hate to see people hurting any time, but especially at Thanksgiving. So here's my wish for you my friends, no matter where in the world you might be~

May you be safe from fear, from hunger, and from cold.

May you be with those you love and who love you.

And above all, may you know peace in your heart and in your world.

                                  ~xoxo~

I truly believe #LifeisGood :)

I didn't personally know Tina, but I do believe in her motto #LifeisGood and I love sunflowers too, so I'm joining the Sunflower Blogfest in her honor. This bad boy is standing out in my garden right now, probably twelve feet tall. We may not know how much time we have in this world, but I hope we can all find time to savor the little joys that find us each day.

Like a nice bath..

 

Or a nice writing buddy...

 

 

~Wishing you Peace and Sunflowers my friends ~ this day and always~

 

a day of rememberance~

Memorial Day always reminds me of my grandmother, who was a veteran of the U.S. Marine Corps in World War II.  She grew the greatest gardens, so grandma...these are flowers in my garden for you.  Love you forever~

Spring Break arrives :)

Hey peeps!

Spring has arrived - hurrah!! I know it might not feel like it where you are. I know it's still falling well below freezing here, but it's only a matter of time now before we're all complaining about how hot it is, right?? If you need a little pick me up, go here~

I just want to make sure you come back tomorrow and check out the launch of Ty Drago's new book tour on the blog. It looks super awesome. My 8 year old son even said so. Don't miss it!

I feel like I've been busy, but I'm not sure how much I've accomplished. I've been reading a lot, most recently The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd. I think she's my author-hero. :) I'm like 90% done with it and I'm sure I'll be writing a review for it. Just not sure what to say, but wow! We'll see.

I just know I have to finish it before I can get on with my own writing. It's too distracting to me to try to do both. I have a Goodreads goal to read 20 books this year, but it's a tough balance for me. Maybe you want to join me in my reading quest?

In the mean time, keep thinking Spring everybody!

#5Things on #valentinesday

Happy Valentines's Day peeps :)

I wrote the whiniest blog post the other day. Thank goodness I didn’t save it. It was terrible! Suffice to say, I must have been feeling sorry for myself, which is never pleasant to read. I am decidedly not a winter person. Instead, I want to tell you about a new twitter friend I’ve met who almost exclusively tweets with the #5Things hashtag. Don’t roll your eyes! Hashtags can be fun. J

Paulette Waltz (also known as @5THINGSaDAY on Twitter) encourages followers to tweet five things each day they’re grateful for. I think it’s a perfectly lovely idea. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of focusing on what’s not working in your life instead of all the wonderful things you experience every day.

I haven’t posted #5Things every day yet, but I’ve posted a few times.  I challenge you to give it a try too. Today, I’m going to post #5Things I’m grateful for this month – February.

5) a roof over my head and food in the kitchen.

4) my children, especially my son who was born in February. He’s driving me crazy counting down the days until his party!

3) a writing project that’s creeping steadily along. Forward is always better than backward.

2) the love of friends and family. You all mean so much to me.

1) Hmm…this is a hard choice. I think I’ll say ‘coffee’. I’m grateful for coffee. J

How ‘bout you?

Letting Go

It’s been quiet on the blog here, mainly because I needed a break, but also because my family has moved to a new house. There’s been no time for blogging.  It’s a lovely home and will be good for us, but the whole process of moving has been very stressful for me. I guess when you’ve been in a place for sixteen years, you tend to put down roots that resist coming up easy. You also accumulate a lot of dust.  You save stuff you think you might use one day, only to realize five years have passed and you’ve never even looked at it. You never really needed it and it’s time to let it go. Some things are easy to give up. Letting go is much harder when it comes to artwork your child made when they were two and just discovering paint. (Don’t worry; I didn’t put it all in the trash.)

 

I’ll admit I’m a bit of a clutter bug, but it’s nothing compared to the rest of my family, all of whom have serious pack rat issues. I think we’re getting there though. Just so long as they look the other way while I’m tossing out their old school papers and expired Easter candy.

 

On a positive note, I think this cleansing process is probably long overdue. Sitting too long in our own comfy marinade probably doesn’t push us to do new things enough, to shake off the old, and get on with the new. At the very least, I’ve learned that moving the furniture around now and then is probably a good idea. You never know what might fall under there!

 

As good as all this change is, I find myself eager to get back to old routines, like reading and writing. I’m making slow progress on editing a rough draft for submission this year and I’ve just started reading “The Asylum” with the Gothic Book Club on Goodreads. It’s a good stretch for me. I’ve even been thinking maybe I could write a gothic-style novel some day. Hmm J

 

How about you? Is there any aspect of your life that needs decluttered? Maybe it’s time for a good spring cleaning!

 

 

At Year's End~

 

 

I think it’s always good to take a moment, now and then, to look around yourself, see where you’ve been and where you’re going, to appreciate what you’ve achieved, and to consider new goals you’d like to reach for. 2013 was a good year for me in many ways.

 

Hush Puppy was published by a small press and I self-published The Last Page, the final Storyteller book. I marketed all my books online with a lot of support from fellow writers and bloggers. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate their help. I attended several book signings, which gave me the opportunity to talk with readers. And then my manuscript Vessel was offered a contract with Month9Books. That was probably the best feeling of all.

 

I also met my weight loss goal in 2013. I had no idea I could do it, but I’m telling you, exercise is the key. And I mean the kind that makes you sweat, the kind that makes you feel tired when you’re done. If you aren’t sweating, it isn’t going to help you lose weight. For 2014, I intend to stay at my goal weight, which means remaining vigilant over what I eat and how much I exercise. It’s so easy for it to sneak back up on you. Curse you, Starbucks!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In 2014, my writing goals include working on Vessel edits and getting my manuscript The Color of Water into shape for submission. After that, I’d like to start a new book. I have a few tiny seeds of ideas knocking about in my pocket, but I need to plant one and water it a bit more to see where it goes. Vessel is due out in early 2015, so I’m sure I’ll be gearing up to market it this time next year. I’ll be blogging here and there, but right now I feel like hibernating! I’m so ready for a long winter’s rest.

 

 

 

 

 

I also want to read more books in 2014. I tend to read books like a writer now, looking for tips and tricks and voice. I’m always searching to see what I can glean from each author. I did pretty well reading more books in 2013, but I’m sure I could do better. And I want to continue to write on a regular basis, most every day if I can.

 

 

 

 

 

How about you? How was your 2013? How will you make 2014 even better?

 

 

 

Much to be Thankful for!

Just wanted to send some hugs and gratitude your way this Thanksgiving Day. Thank you readers and reviewers and blog commenters. Thank you friends (online and off) and family for all your support. I have much to be thankful for and I owe much of it to you. Peace to you this day and always~