Checking in on 2016 Goals

Early this year I set out some goals for 2016, not knowing what this year would bring. Boy, was I surprised. I thought I'd take a minute to check over those goals and ask myself, what the heck happened??  I'm not making excuses, but I can already tell you many of these fell by the wayside in March when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I also lost three aged, beloved pets this spring. It was not a fun time.

So what were my goals for 2016?

1) Read lots of books - The first casualty was reading. It usually is the first thing to go because it's a "nice to do" not a "have to do". I did read the new Harry Potter play, which was mildly entertaining. And Mrs. Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, which I liked. (The movie totally changed the ending though.)

2) Write lots of words - Hoo boy! This I did NOT do. At all. When you're worried about your health and going to doctor appointments every week or more, you just don't feel that creative. No new projects were started this year. JuNoWriMo was skipped because of radiation therapy in June. However, I did complete edits on a middle grade manuscript I'm quite fond of called "Troll Teeth and other Bedtime Stories".

3) Travel - I was a little tied down this spring with radiation treatments every day for six and a half weeks, but after that I went to north Idaho to see family. I've also had some good day trips, some to places I've never been before. Most excitingly, I've got reservations for next spring break in St. Petersburg, Florida. I haven't been there for over twenty years.

4) Exercise and eat healthy - This really shouldn't be a goal; it should be every day life. I do mostly eat healthy, but I can't lie - when I thought I might be taking chemotherapy, I did some stress eating. I thought it might be helpful to bulk up before chemo so I had a little weight to lose anyway. Probably not what a doctor would advise, but it made sense to me at the time. I didn't end up getting chemotherapy, so I started watching my portions again. My exercise routine was interrupted by my surgery and I'm afraid I never really got back on the bandwagon. I still enjoy seeing how far I can go on my Fitbit each day, but I think weight bearing exercise is just as important as steps are. People keep saying "sitting is the new smoking". I got a standing desk at work and it's pretty cool.

5) Publish - I did the query thing, a got few nibbles, but no bites. My self-published titles are doing well on Amazon, so I decided to self-publish "Crawdad". It should be available very soon.  The rights to "Vessel" were reverted to me from the publisher this year, so I'll be self-publishing that as well. "Troll Teeth" is with a publisher for consideration, as is "Star Taker, Sky Dragon", a steampunk adventure story. If those don't work out, they're both candidates for self-publishing too.

6) Grow a garden that survives - This one I achieved!!  A new fence around the garden and a new greenhouse helped a lot, as well as a drop in the vole population spike.  I got tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, squash, beans, onions, lettuce, and beets. I made pickles, salsa, tomato sauce, and spaghetti sauce. I've still got tomatoes, but I think I've canned just about all the stuff we can eat, so I'm not sure what I'll do with those. I also plan to make enchilada sauce when my anchos are dried. I also grew the prettiest flowers! The frost got the zinnias already, but there's still poppies and marigolds.

7) Save some money - yeah, not so much. Maybe next year?

8) Do some home improvements - other than the new greenhouse, not much of this happened either
 
9) Meditate - This helped me tremendously in March and April, which were terribly stressful months. I've meditated before with just a timer, but his year I found an app that had guided mediations for things like stress and worry. It was just what I needed. Check out the Gaiam Mediation Studio if you're interested.



10) Gratitude - If I didn't know how to do this before, I sure do now. Nothing like a life-threating illness to make you appreciate the life you have. I read an inspiring quote the other day that's going to stick with me for awhile....

We don't always know how we'll die, but we can always choose how we will live~

I chose to live life in peace, love, and gratitude.

Happy Martin Luther King Day!

I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become reality...I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love  will have the final word~ 
                       Martin Luther King 

A man of many wise words, this is one of my favorite quotes, as true today as the day he wrote it. I, too, am unwilling to accept violence as the only way. May you know peace in your hearts and your world, this day and always~

Even #Bookworms can help #EndSlavery

One of the themes explored in my upcoming novel Vessel is slavery. Slavery exists in the dystopian future of the novel, just as it exists now. Yes, that’s right. I said now. Slavery is still going on in 2015, right this very minute, all across the world. Millions of women and children, and even men, are living life in captivity, both physical and economic.


Slavery and human trafficking were on my mind as I wrote the book. I feel very fortunate to have been born into the set of circumstances I was, but many are not so lucky. I would like very much to see slavery end. I’m just one person and I know there’s only such much I can do. If just one Vessel reader is inspired to help make that change, I’ll have done some good. So with that in mind, I’ve decided to donate 25% of my proceeds from the sale of Vessel to the International Justice Mission, an organization devoted to helping free slaves around the world.


If you’re on Twitter, I encourage you to follow them @IJM and support their hashtags #EndSlaveryAct and #stand4freedom . Or visit their website at www.ijm.org and get involved. And when you purchase a copy of Vessel, know that you’re helping too. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

October 2 Brainstorming

Ack!  I said I'd write a fantasy short story for a Christmas anthology and it's due Nov. 1.  Do you think I've even started??  As of Sept 30 I hadn't even thought about it, but that night I got a few minutes to start brainstorming, but lemme tell ya...thinking about Christmas when you've kinda got Halloween on the brain is a challenge!







But I buckled down and made myself start thinking. I've been wanting to try something steampunk for awhile....could this be the project? But what does steampunk have to do with Christmas? Nothing! Which is why it's perfect. When was the last time you read a steampunk Christmas story?!?! Me neither! It's so crazy, it just might work!


And then I thought...what do you never see in steampunk?? Besides Christmas, I mean?

I thought of a few things, but I won't ruin the surprise.  When I get my story finished, I promise I'll share.  I just wanted to get you thinking about brainstorming new ideas. It's always fun to take the traditional and turn it on its ear.

Of course, this is only a setting. A proper story needs a plot and compelling characters. Since I'm going out on a limb anyway, I think I'll try a little diversity...

How do you come up with new ideas??

Blog 30 Goonies Never Say "Die"!!

Lately, I’ve noticed some of my writer friends are unhappy.  There are a variety of reasons, but most of it seems to revolve around criticism. Notice I didn’t say “critiques”, but criticism.  Opinions are like those other things everyone else has, right? They’re always going to be there.  The trick is to keep those criticisms or unhelpful opinions from bogging us down, or worse, stopping us from writing altogether.

When I first self-published Storyteller, it took a long time to get my first review. The jist of it was, “Meh, its ok.” At least, that’s what I took away from it. Needless to say, I was hoping for a little better than 'meh'. Actually, I was crushed.  And that was from someone who probably thought they were being kind. I can’t imagine what I would have done if that someone had been actually trying to hurt my feelings.  I’ve always been a sensitive person and I can take a lot of things to heart – way too many things- but I’m getting better at separating myself from criticism. At least I think I am. I guess we’ll see how I do when Hush Puppy is released and the first reviews come in.

A few years back, I facilitated a Dove Real Beauty Workshop for Girls. What’s that and what does it have to do with criticism? A lot actually. The workshop teaches girls how to deal with all the messages they get each day, both positive and negative, but the advice is excellent for anyone of any age. I love the message so I’m going to pass it along to you.

Imagine yourself in a giant bubble, everywhere you go. This is your personal space bubble. It protects you. You decided what to let into your bubble and what to keep out. Let in the good things around you: supportive friends and family. Reject the bad things, in this case: unconstructive criticism that only seeks to unsettle you or separate you from your dreams. We don’t want to completely shut ourselves off from constructive criticism, but we should be selective as to whom we let into our bubble.

My favorite writer about writing, Brenda Ueland, says this:

"The only good teachers for you are those friends who love you, who think you are interesting, or very important, or wonderfully funny; whose attitude is: Tell me more. Tell me all you can. I want to understand more about everything you feel and know and all the changes inside and out of you. Let more come out. And if you have no such friend,  -and you want to write, -well then you must imagine one."

If you haven’t read her book "If you want to write: a book about art, independence, and spirit" , I urge you to check it out. I’ve raved about it in posts before, so I won’t do it here. I’ll just say there are some lovely passages. Whenever I get discouraged about my writing, I open it up and quickly find comfort.

And if you find yourself the subject of unwanted criticism, decide what to accept and what to disregard. The choice is truly yours.

Blog #22 Letter to my Fifteen Year Old Self

Today is my 43rd birthday.  I had to give some extra thought to what I might write today.  I finally settled on this letter to myself when I was a young writer. Please feel free to pass it along to any young writers you may know too~

Dear me, 

I know there are lots of kids out there, just like you, who want to write something, but lack the confidence or the support to do it. I’m here to tell you, do it anyway.

Maybe you think it’s stupid or silly or you wouldn’t show it to anyone in a million years. That’s ok. Keep every single scrap of paper you ever wrote a story on anyway. You might use it later. You don’t have to show anyone until you’re ready.  Just remember, there’s no one like you in the whole world and you have something important to say. Everyone does.  Don’t listen to the naysayers that tell you otherwise. Ever.

And it may not be very good at first, but you’re learning. Like anything, it takes practice. Keep at it. Read everything you can and then write some more. Find your voice, your “you-ness”, and put it on the page.  When it is true and honest, it will shine and you will know you’ve done your best.

 

 

Blog #18 With sadness and regret…

I use Twitter as my news source. Some would say that’s ridiculous. Maybe it is, but all I really want to know is the 140 character gist of what’s up. If I want to know more, I’ll go to the internet or the tv after that, but it’s rarely necessary. I have an extremely low tolerance for television pundits. Anyway, you can imagine my dismay when the last news I got on Twitter (before losing my internet connection last weekend) was the verdict in the Trayvon Martin trial. I call it the Martin trial because it seems like Trayvon was the one on trial.

If a person can’t walk down the street to the convenience store and back without being considered “suspicious” what can they do? I know that being a black man in this country is not easy and I’ll never know what it’s truly like.

I just want to say this: The way we treat people is the way they tend to become. If we treat a child with contempt and distain, they grow into an angry, bitter adult. If we expect the worst of a child and we continually tell them they won’t succeed in life, that’s usually what happens. If we teach young people they should fear others and hate others, they won’t question it.  It’s a rare individual that can break out of that.  No one is born a failure or a success.  No one is born a bigot or a saint. We make them.  And I weep for us all.

The America I Wish For

I wasn’t sure I would post this. I don’t typically get political on my blog for a reason. I believe in everyone’s right to their own opinion and that it’s not my place to try to change the opinions of others.  That said the Trayvon Martin murder and the Sandy Hook murders have profoundly disturbed me, as a parent and as an American.  I want to write about what I feel today, so bear with me. I’ll be brief.

No one, of any color or creed, should have to fear for their lives while walking down the street, or attending school, minding their own business. No one, especially not a child.  This is the America I wish for. I know it’s a big wish, but here’s hoping for the best, ‘cause that’s what I do.  I know you’re better than this, America. Please don’t prove me wrong. Peace~

Compassion is a Verb and I saw it

Sorry I’ve been away.  Sometime life interrupts us, but it doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about you. 

I recently listened to a pod cast by a Buddhist about the subject of compassion.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t know many Buddhists personally.  However, they do have an interesting way of looking at the world that makes sense to me.  And being an anthropologist at heart, I am always interested in such things. So I listened to this pod cast called “Compassion is a Verb” and I thought, oh that’s nice, and went about my day.

Shortly after that, I spent several hours in several airports and on a couple of airplanes where I saw how compassion is a verb, how it is an action, and the message hit truly home.  The speaker on the pod cast quoted another Buddhist, who summarized Buddhism thus~

Everything is connected, everything is impermanent and you are not alone.

 

Everything is connected – It’s so interesting that just this last week, scientists in Europe, who spent billions of dollars to build a super collider and years playing around with it, essentially proved what many ancient people already knew – everything is connected.  I wonder what else we could have done with that money…I’m not saying research shouldn’t be done.  You just have to wonder if all research is necessary.

Everything is impermanent – I’ve written about this many times, in one form or another, mostly with respect to gardening in the desert.  I lost a tree this year in a freak wind storm.  After years of nurturing this little pine tree, of watching robin babies hatch in its branches and seeing it get taller than me, it blew over.  Just like that.  Done.

You are not alone – This gets at the heart of compassion, which is the ability to empathize with someone else’s suffering and act on it.  And this is what I saw on the plane that day.  There was no emergency, no reason for strangers to come together in a dramatic fashion, just our shared confinement in a small space for several hours.

It was late and I’m sure everyone on the plane was tired.  Face it, air travel is cramped and uncomfortable and boring for those of us who fly economy class.  Adults can usually cope, but it’s hard for children to be still for hours if they aren’t asleep.  As anyone who has children knows, a tired child is apt to cry and that’s just what one little girl on the plane did – she cried.  I never actually saw her because she was several rows behind me, but I could hear her and her agitated mother, yelling louder and louder for the little girl to shut up and stop crying.  (I’ve never understood why anyone thinks a person can just stop crying; if you’ve ever cried, you know it’s hard to stop on a dime.  And if someone is yelling at you, it doesn’t make it any easier.  And if that person is four times bigger than you, forget it, right?)

And this wasn’t just once.  This woman told her child repeatedly to shut up over the course of perhaps ten minutes because the child couldn’t stop.  As a parent of children myself, I felt like I was witness to abuse, like I was being abused myself.  I wanted to whack that woman soundly across the mouth, tell her to grow up.  How could someone be so cruel to a child in front of so many people?  If I could hear it, I’m sure everyone else could too.  The passenger next to me was cringing too.  Couldn’t a stewardess do something? 

I was stuck in a window seat, rows away, unsure of what, if anything I could do, and then it happened – a small woman dressed in army fatigues, got up from her aisle seat, and went back to where the mother was still berating her crying child.  Instead of saying something rude, like I imagined doing myself, the soldier asked “Is something wrong? Can I help?”  We were all tired and cramped, we all felt the same pain as that little girl, but that soldier acted and she let that little girl know she was not alone.  And that is the most amazing thing any of us could ever do.

So often we feel alone even when we’re surrounded by many.  It’s easy to forget we’re all connected.  It’s even easy to forget everything is impermanent, for a while.  But life always reminds you.

And here’s one last thing I saw on a plane that day, albeit a different flight…

I was sitting next to a very bulky biker.  He had the leather vest with all the biker pins, the big handlebar mustache.  It was easy to imagine him riding one of the thirteen Harley-Davidson motorcycles he said he owned.  Right across the aisle from him sat another man with chiseled features, tattoos up and down his toned arms and legs.  The man’s hair was cropped close to his scalp, making him seem even more angular.  The biker, who was very friendly, asked the man across the aisle what branch of the military he served in.  The man replied that he wasn’t in the military.  Not about to be deterred, the biker asked him if he was cop.  The man smiled and said “No, I’m a Methodist minister.”  I laughed out loud.

We think we know so much about people and we don’t.  We think others are so different from us and they’re not.  We think we’re separate, but we’re connected.  It reminded me of the saying “be kind, for everyone is fighting their own battle”.  It could just as well say, “be compassionate, we’re all in this together”.  Peace~