Life is a Series of Last Chance Canyons~

A wise cowboy once told me his personal philosophy ~ life is a series of last chance canyons. He said he realized it once while he was riding the range in Last Chance Canyon and wondered about the name. Dry Creek Canyon was named for the creek that went dry in the summer. Rock Creek Canyon had a lot of rocks. It occurred to him that someone must have had a last chance in this canyon once.

He said you have a lot of chances in life, firsts and lasts. Everyone remembers their firsts: your first bike ride, your first date, your first day of school are things everyone recognizes as significant. You remember some of your lasts too, like graduation is an end to you childhood, but some you don't notice until they're passed. Like your last chance to hold your child on your lap or jump on the bed with them. Pretty soon they grow up and you've lost that chance. Or you last chance to see an old friend or loved one. Most of us have experienced a sudden loss where we didn't know the last time we saw or spoke to someone was our last chance to be with them, to share a special moment with them, and let them know how we feel. If we'd only known.

Life is a series of last chance canyons. Don't be afraid to take a chance~

To all the Mothers~

I usually post a poem someone sent me about all the kinds of mothers in the world for Mother's Day. Here's a link to it if you want to read it. It'll make you cry.

Moms do a lot. Much more than most fathers ever will. (Sorry guys, but for the vast majority, its true.) Many moms do a lot of superhuman stuff you'd never dream of until you become one. Other mothers do less, but the trick is we're all doing the best we can.

Sometimes that doesn't seem like much, but mothers are humans after all. We do have faults some days. Some of us have faults on many days.

I hope all moms get to do something they enjoy today. I hope to plant some flowers~

Blog #7 A Very Important Day July 7th

This is the day my daughter Hannah Rose was born.

 

I can hardly believe it’s been 11 years ago. She has taught me so, so much. I never would have believed how much.  For instance, see this old blog post The Tao of Han. She is a beautiful girl and I’m so very proud of her.

I don’t remember too much about our first days together, as I was running on adrenaline and Vicodin, thanks to an unexpected C-section. It’s kind of a blur. I do remember writing something about it in a brief moment I stole enough time to write a few lines.  Let me see if I can find it….*rummages around in ancient computer file folders* *swears*

Ah! Here it is!

Hannah’s Lessons

 

Long ago, my mother encouraged me to write, so this is for her.  And for Hannah, who inspires me to write every day.  Not that I do…she just inspires me to.

On Mothers and Daughters

 About a year ago, I had a baby.  It was a text book pregnancy, nothing out of the ordinary.  The delivery went fairly smooth, although the baby was unexpectedly breach and I had an almost instantaneous, unplanned C-section.  Even that isn’t so unusual these days.  Pretty standard.  The first year, she kept me so busy, I couldn’t write on a regular basis.  (I’ve never written on a regular basis actually.  I’ve always written sporadically, as the mood hits me.  Suffice to say, I wrote even less than usual.)

So what makes this baby so special?  Why is our story any different from the thousands of other stories of mothers and babies?  It’s not, but that’s what makes it so wonderful, that this incredible event takes place every day, to thousands of women all over the world.  There is no bond in the universe to compare to that between mother and child that I know of.  It almost defies description.  I know, children grow up and break away from their mothers.  It will change for me and my baby, maybe slowly, maybe over night.  I don’t know.  All I know is I have to make the most of every day I have with her because each day she’s here I feel so blessed.

My baby is Hannah, a.k.a. Hannah B for “Hannah Baby” or “Hannah Bee”, as in “Busy Bee”.  Sometimes we just call her “Bee”.  Some people call her Hannah Banana, but I never have much.  I never could have imagined how much Hannah could teach me in a year.  She taught me what my mother did for me and what all loving mothers do for their children.  She gave me an appreciation I never could have had for what my mother did before.  Any mother knows what I’m talking about. 

People tend to think parents are responsible for teaching their children things, and that’s true, but not much attention is paid to the things our children teach us.  Sometimes I think those things are far more important.  Now that I’ve caught on, I look for Hannah’s lessons every day.  She has lots to show me and I still have lots to learn.

Tidbits of Wisdom

I’ve learned a few things about children in general they don’t put in the baby manuals.  Believe me, I know.  I’ve read a bunch of them.  Such as:

Children have the ability to absorb nutrients through their skin.  That’s why they can wear their food instead of eat it and still survive.

 

Babies have to be cute.  It’s a survival mechanism.  If they weren’t cute, no one would want them.

Lesson One: Don’t be Afraid to Fail

Hannah’s learning to walk right now.  Actually, she’s learning lots of things, but the main thing is walking.  It already has me fondly remembering when she was six months old and not even rolling over yet.  Those simple days are over and I’ll be chasing her from now on I guess.  When she first began to let go of the couch or the coffee table, she’d topple almost immediately.  Every day she’d get a little stronger and stand a little longer, but she still fell constantly.  If she hadn’t bumped her head on anything, her diaper took most of the shock and she’d be right back at it, teetering on the brink of disaster again.  Lately, she’s taken to climbing stairs and toy boxes and anything else she can pull herself up onto.  She has no fear of heights, no fear of falling and no fear of failure.  She’ll learn these fears one day, I have no doubt.  We all do.  But if Hannah feared failure right now, she would never learn to walk or talk or color or do any of the things most adults take for granted.  If she never babbled like a fool, she wouldn’t learn to speak.  If she doesn’t scribble, she’ll never draw. 

So often we expect to do new things perfectly without giving ourselves the room to learn, to fail and to try again.  I’m not sure why.  I despair over my writing all the time when I should be giving myself a chance to grow and mature as a writer.  I guess it’s about patience with one’s self.  Even Hannah gets frustrated when the square peg won’t go into the round hole she’s trying to force it into, but she never gives up.  That’s the difference.  I get frustrated and want to give up.  She gets frustrated and tries harder.

Lesson Two: Share what you have, no matter how meager

We often think of children as selfish and they can be, but it isn’t until two or three years old that they begin to formulate a concept of ownership.  The very youngest children seem to delight in giving you whatever it is they have, whether it’s a mushy cracker or a favorite doll.  One of Hannah’s most favorite activities is feeding her dinner to the cat or sticking Lucky Charms cereal in someone else’s mouth.  Her giggle is priceless.  She has no concept of keeping things for herself, from others.  She’s often frustrated when I won’t give her my papers or books. 



I must have gotten side tracked at this point because I have a list of other lessons that I never wrote about, but they're still good stuff. Here:



Lesson 3: Don’t be so self conscious

Lesson 4: Look for the fun in everything

Lesson 5: Ask for what you need

Lesson 6: Always try new things

Lesson 7: Speak up!

Lesson 8: Keep active

Lesson 9: Big hugs are the best kind

Lesson 10: Brighten someone’s day with a smile everyday


Well, that's probably more than any of you will ever read, so I'd better stop now. Hannah's probably going to kill me when she sees this anyway!  :) Happy Birthday Hannah and Peace to you~

Mother's Day

I didn't write this, but I've always liked it.  I thought I'd share it again today~



This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night

with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced

with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid

saying, "It's OK honey, Mommy's here." when they

keep crying and won't stop.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with

spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses

and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make

cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the

mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll

never see. And the mothers who took those babies

and gave them homes.

This is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on

metal bleachers at football or soccer games Friday

night instead of watching from cars, so that when their

kids asked, "Did you see me?" they could say, "Of

course, I wouldn't have missed it for the World," and

mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the

grocery store and swat them in despair when they

stomp their feet like a tired 2-year old who wants ice

cream before dinner.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their

children and explained all about making babies. And

for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn't. For

all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a

night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to

tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for

all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead. This is

for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and

their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically

when a little voice calls "Mom ?" in a crowd, even

though they know their own off spring are at home.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to

school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be

just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from

the school nurse an hour later asking them to please

pick them up right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray,

who can't find the words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips sometimes until

they bleed-when their 14 year olds dye their hair

green.

What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience?

Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby,

cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch

your son or daughter disappear down the street,

walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed

to crib 2 A.M.to put your hand on the back of a

sleeping baby?

The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your

child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a

child dying? For all the mothers of the victims of all

these school shootings, and the mothers of those who

did the shooting. For the mothers of the Survivors,

and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror,

hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for mothers who put pinwheels and teddy bears on their children's graves.

This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper

changes and sleep deprivation. And mature mothers

learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married Mothers. Mothers with

money, mothers without.

This is for you all. So hang in there.

"Home is what catches you when you fall-and we all fall."

Love you Mom!