This is the day my daughter Hannah Rose was born.
I can hardly
believe it’s been 11 years ago. She has taught me so, so much. I never would
have believed how much. For instance,
see this old blog post The Tao of Han. She is a beautiful girl and I’m so very
proud of her.
I don’t remember too much about our first days together, as
I was running on adrenaline and Vicodin, thanks to an unexpected C-section.
It’s kind of a blur. I do remember writing something about it in a brief moment
I stole enough time to write a few lines.
Let me see if I can find it….*rummages around in ancient computer file
folders* *swears*
Ah! Here it is!
Hannah’s
Lessons
Long ago, my mother encouraged me
to write, so this is for her. And for
Hannah, who inspires me to write every day.
Not that I do…she just inspires me to.
On
Mothers and Daughters
About a year ago, I had a
baby. It was a text book pregnancy,
nothing out of the ordinary. The
delivery went fairly smooth, although the baby was unexpectedly breach and I
had an almost instantaneous, unplanned C-section.
Even that isn’t so unusual these days.
Pretty standard. The first year,
she kept me so busy, I couldn’t write on a regular basis. (I’ve never written on a regular basis
actually. I’ve always written
sporadically, as the mood hits me.
Suffice to say, I wrote even less than usual.)
So what makes this baby so
special? Why is our story any different
from the thousands of other stories of mothers and babies? It’s not, but that’s what makes it so
wonderful, that this incredible event takes place every day, to thousands of
women all over the world. There is no
bond in the universe to compare to that between mother and child that I know
of. It almost defies description. I know, children grow up and break away from
their mothers. It will change for me and
my baby, maybe slowly, maybe over night.
I don’t know. All I know is I
have to make the most of every day I have with her because each day she’s here
I feel so blessed.
My baby is Hannah, a.k.a. Hannah
B for “Hannah Baby” or “Hannah Bee”, as in “Busy Bee”. Sometimes we just call her “Bee”. Some people call her Hannah Banana, but I
never have much. I never could have
imagined how much Hannah could teach me in a year. She taught me what my mother did for me and
what all loving mothers do for their children.
She gave me an appreciation I never could have had for what my mother
did before. Any mother knows what I’m
talking about.
People tend to think parents are
responsible for teaching their children things, and that’s true, but not much
attention is paid to the things our children teach us. Sometimes I think those things are far more
important. Now that I’ve caught on, I
look for Hannah’s lessons every day. She
has lots to show me and I still have lots to learn.
Tidbits
of Wisdom
I’ve learned a few things about
children in general they don’t put in the baby manuals. Believe me, I know. I’ve read a bunch of them. Such as:
Children have the ability to
absorb nutrients through their skin.
That’s why they can wear their food instead of eat it and still survive.
Babies have to be cute. It’s a survival mechanism. If they weren’t cute, no one would want them.
Lesson
One: Don’t be Afraid to Fail
Hannah’s learning to walk right
now. Actually, she’s learning lots of
things, but the main thing is walking.
It already has me fondly remembering when she was six months old and not
even rolling over yet. Those simple days
are over and I’ll be chasing her from now on I guess. When she first began to let go of the couch
or the coffee table, she’d topple almost immediately. Every day she’d get a little stronger and
stand a little longer, but she still fell constantly. If she hadn’t bumped her head on anything,
her diaper took most of the shock and she’d be right back at it, teetering on
the brink of disaster again. Lately,
she’s taken to climbing stairs and toy boxes and anything else she can pull herself
up onto. She has no fear of heights, no
fear of falling and no fear of failure.
She’ll learn these fears one day, I have no doubt. We all do.
But if Hannah feared failure right now, she would never learn to walk or
talk or color or do any of the things most adults take for granted. If she never babbled like a fool, she
wouldn’t learn to speak. If she doesn’t
scribble, she’ll never draw.
So often we expect to do new
things perfectly without giving ourselves the room to learn, to fail and to try
again. I’m not sure why. I despair over my writing all the time when I
should be giving myself a chance to grow and mature as a writer. I guess it’s about patience with one’s
self. Even Hannah gets frustrated when
the square peg won’t go into the round hole she’s trying to force it into, but
she never gives up. That’s the
difference. I get frustrated and want to
give up. She gets frustrated and tries
harder.
Lesson
Two: Share what you have, no matter how meager
We often think of children as selfish
and they can be, but it isn’t until two or three years old that they begin to
formulate a concept of ownership. The
very youngest children seem to delight in giving you whatever it is they have,
whether it’s a mushy cracker or a favorite doll. One of Hannah’s most favorite activities is
feeding her dinner to the cat or sticking Lucky Charms cereal in someone else’s
mouth. Her giggle is priceless. She has no concept of keeping things for
herself, from others. She’s often
frustrated when I won’t give her my papers or books.
I must have gotten side tracked at this point because I have a list of other lessons that I never wrote about, but they're still good stuff. Here:
Lesson 3: Don’t be so self conscious
Lesson 4: Look for the fun in everything
Lesson 5: Ask for what you need
Lesson 6: Always try new things
Lesson 7: Speak up!
Lesson 8: Keep active
Lesson 9: Big hugs are the best kind
Lesson 10: Brighten someone’s day with a smile everyday
Well, that's probably more than any of you will ever read, so I'd better stop now. Hannah's probably going to kill me when she sees this anyway! :) Happy Birthday Hannah and Peace to you~
My daughter is starting sixth grade this year. Today, in fact. She is bubbling over with excitement and angst. New to her will be lockers and switching classes and dressing down for gym and having a half dozen different teachers, each with their own foibles. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this was a new adventure for my daughter, but I had forgotten exactly what it was like, what it felt like when it was happening to me. She’s happy one minute, a complete nervous wreck the next, and I’m along for the ride all over again.
